The Homoerotic Touch and the Rites of Death and Dying
from Thomas H. Johnson's The Poems of Emily Dickinson

577

If I may have it, when it's dead,
I'll be contented - so -
If just as soon as Breath is out
It shall belong to me -

Until they lock it in the Grave,
'Tis Bliss I cannot weigh -
For tho' they lock Thee in the Grave,
Myself - can own the key -

Think of it Lover! I and Thee
Permitted - face to face to be -
After a Life - a Death - We'll say -
For Death was That -
And This - is Thee -

I'll tell Thee All - how Bald it grew -
How Midnight felt, at first - to me -
How all the Clocks stopped in the World -
And Sunshine pinched me - 'Twas so cold -

Then how the Grief got sleepy - some -
As if my Soul were deaf and dumb -
Just making signs - across - to Thee -
That this way - thou could'st notice me -

I'll tell you how I tried to keep
A smile, to show you, when this Deep
All Waded - We look back for Play,
At those Old Times - in Calvary.

Forgive me, if the Grave come slow -
For Coveting to look at Thee -
Forgive me, if to stroke thy frost
Outvisions Paradise!

   2. so] now -
   6. Bliss] Wealth I cannot weigh/Right
   8. own] hold
   14. Bald] Blank -
   20. across] it seemed
   21. notice] speak to -
   25. come] seem
   26. Coveting] eagerness -
   27. stroke] touch/greet
   28. Outvisions] [Out] fables -


from R. W. Franklin's The Poems of Emily Dickinson

431

If I may have it, when it's dead,
I'll be contented - so -
If just as soon as Breath is out
It shall belong to me -

Until they lock it in the Grave,
'Tis Bliss I cannot weigh -
For tho' they lock Thee in the Grave,
Myself - can own the key -

Think of it Lover! I and Thee
Permitted - face to face to be -
After a Life - a Death - we'll say -
For Death was That -
And This - is Thee -

I'll tell Thee Al - how Bald it grew -
How Midnight felt, at first - to me -
How all the Clocks stopped in the World -
And Sunshine pinched me - 'Twas so cold -

Then how the Grief got sleepy - some -
As if my soul were deaf and dumb -
Just making signs - across - to Thee -
That this way - thou could'st notice me -

I'll tell you how I tried to keep
A smile, to show you, when this Deep
All Waded - We look back for Play,
At those Old Times - in Calvary.

Forgive me, if the Grave come slow -
For Coveting to look at Thee -
Forgive me, if to stroke thy frost
Outvisions Paradise!

2 so -] now -     6 Bliss I cannot weight -] Wealth I cannot weight. · Right [I cannot weigh.]     8 own]hold     14 Bald] Blank -     20 across] it seemed     21 notice]speak to -     26 come] seem     27 Coveting] eagerness -     28 stroke] touch · greet     29 Outvisions] [Out]fables -

Division     1 it's |     3 Breath |     5 the |     7 in |     11 Death - |     13 Thee - ||     14 Bald |     15 first - |     16 stopped |     17 me - |     18 sleepy - |     19 and |     20 across - |     21 could'st |     23 when |     23 Deep ||     24 back |     26 come |     28 stroke |


Ellen Hart's transcription

If I may have it, when its'
dead,
I'll be contented - so     x now -
If just as soon as Breath
is out
It shall belong to me -

Until they lock it in the
Grave,
'Tis x Bliss I cannot weigh -
For tho' they lock Thee in
the Grave,
Myself - can own the key -   x hold

Think of it Lover ! I and Thee
Permitted - face to face to be -
After a Life - a Death -
we'll say -
For Death was That -
And This - is Thee -
I'll tell Thee All - how Bald
it grew -     x Blank -
How Midnight felt, at first -
to me -
How all the Clocks stopped
in the World -
And Sunshine pinched me -
'Twas so cold -

Then how the Grief got sleepy -
some -
As if my Soul were deaf and
dumb -
Just making signs - x across -
to Thee -     x it seemed
That this way - thou could'st
notice me -    x speak to -

I'll tell you how I tried to keep
A smile , to show you, when
this Deep
All Waded - We look back
for Play ,
At those Old Times - in Calvary.

Forgive me, if the Grave x come
Slow -   x seem
For Coveting to look at Thee -
x eagerness -
Forgive me , if to x stroke
thy frost     x touch     x greet
Out visions Paradise !
     x fables -     x Wealth I cannot weigh -
         x Right



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